put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
