im holly from the hills drunk
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize