i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
