If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
