she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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