He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
