Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
vagina is talking i cant
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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