he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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