You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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