My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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