yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
