boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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