if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
