I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
