but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
