am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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