You really coming over, don't trick.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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