You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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