2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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