the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
