All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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