The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
