I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize