Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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