mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
