...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
