I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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