i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
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