I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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