I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
