Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
