So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
