1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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