do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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