okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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