We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
