He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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