the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
