So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
