She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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