In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize