he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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