then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
