worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
