New invention idea: vibrating tampons
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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