it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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