I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
