So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize