Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
