TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize