How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize