So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
