Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
