TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just invented taco cereal.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
