his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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