the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There's always time for handjobs
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
