You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
