i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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