the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
