Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
