I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Randomize
