I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
