I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
