we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
