i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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