Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
