her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
