he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Randomize