Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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