Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
