i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
