I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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