She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
