But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
